There are some things you never expect or want to happen. When talking about loved ones, this includes many different things. You want to protect them and you also want to spend lots of time with them. As a kid, you just take everything for granted. One year is a very long time. Kids just don’t think of endings. It takes lots of growing up to reach that understanding.
Adults take a different approach. They tend to take things for granted even though they know things end. It is typically that when it is too late that we appreciate how unique and special that person was.
I was in a slightly different category. I appreciated my Grandmother very much but due to the huge distance between us I didn’t see her very often or for very long. The last time was in 2005 for a few days.
Grandma (Helen Diamond) had cancer and her illness only lasted a few months. It came quickly and she was able to be at home until the very end. It was exactly the way she wanted it.
All her kids were with her in Humboldt. Mom had been up there for a few weeks before taking care of her. It was very difficult for everyone to handle what was happening.
The day I found out that Grandma had died was so rough. Its a feeling like the floor isn’t there anymore. The thoughts of memories with her and how much she had been a part of my life just overwhelmed me. The part that seemed to hurt the most is that there was not going to be any more memories.
After she had died I spoke with my sister. She reminded me how patient and tolerant Grandma had been. The grandchildren used to run around her house making lots of noise and doing silly things like throwing items down the laundry chute. She didn’t yell at us unless we were really out of line. She spoiled us and always had time to listen to our stories. Looking back, she was a perfect grandmother. It wasn’t that I thought anything bad but as a kid I just didn’t notice how good she was.
Another amazing thing Grandma always did is make us feel at home. As my sister mentioned, Humboldt always felt so safe and comfortable. It was always like coming back to a familiar place where everything stayed about the same. Also being that the town was so small, your arrival was a bit of a novelty and most likely everyone already knew you were coming anyways.
I’ve included a copy of the funeral service notice. Mom sent it to me after the service was over. You can click on it to actually read what it says.
Time heals all things, even the feeling like something is missing. However long it takes, there will always be the memories of time spent. The hardest thing to realize is that the separation is temporary. For who can say what happens when we die? Many people think they know but you don’t know until you’ve done it. It is very difficult to do this and report back. The point is that anything could happen after the end. You just have to wait until that times comes for you to know.